ID

 Who are you?

Can you honestly answer this question without hesitation or white lies?

I don’t think any of us can.

 And I think that when our lives change, the answer to the question changes.

So far, my worth as a person and my role has been well defined. My purpose in life became providing for my children, getting them to adulthood happy and intact, and I have done that.

I know this role never really ends, but the truth is that kids grow up and move on, and a lot of people have a bit of a crisis when they become empty nesters.

A lot of people have a partner they want to travel with, plans for holidays, new adventures, movies to see and so on.

It is very hard for people like myself who find themselves still single after 20 years and an empty nest.

And, what this is forcing me to do is to genuinely take a look inside myself, the raw self. The self that has no roles, no further societal “useful” purpose other than work.

Who am I really? Naked and alone, stripped of all titles and masks, roles, gender and work.

What makes me tick, what makes me happy, what is my soul’s purpose.

And it is hard. I don’t believe many of us truly take the time to ask ourselves these questions. Nor do we often please that raw part of ourselves. Simply because it is coloured by what our partners or children want, what people might say about our tattoos, taste in music, choices of schedules, and financial situation.

I should feel lucky to be in this position to ask myself these very first world questions. And I am sure I will once I arrive at my core and stare at it face to face.

Do you genuinely know your core self? Who is it? What is its resounding vibration? What would it look like next to other people’s cores? Is it equal? Is it worth more, less, the same?

I don’t have the answers to these questions. I’d like to think that living brings me closer to those answers and that the path to enlightment is laid out for me to walk on , barefoot and free.

I am starting to feel luckier, and not as sad. I acknowledge the mother in me who has saved my soul from a fate of oblivion. This role allowed me to love me and my children. It gave me purpose, motivation, love and amazing insight into my psyche.

I am forever grateful for that stage in my life that saved me.

Now is the time for me to boldly move forward alone.

Thrilling and terrifying as it is.

Let’s see what happens.