I used to think and hope that there was one absolute truth.
When I died I wanted to know the whole truth of the universe, in one big flash of recognition and awareness, all of it unravelling like a scroll that ended my wandering.
After nearly 50 years of living I realise there is not such a thing. Which infuriates me and frustrates me, but there is not a single truth.
There is only your truth.
What is true love? Only you know your own answer to that . Some people say it is destiny, God given, eternal, love of a wife or husband, love of money, love of a cat, love of a child….we all have our own version of the truth.
Why are we here? We are here to be better people, to serve God, to achieve greatness, to leave a mark, to enhance humanity, to make a difference, to be happy…what is your truth?
There are no absolutes. That is the truth. You make your own truth as you go along and you discover what your meaning is and what your path is.
I could decide that my meaning of life is to find a husband who loves me above all other women, and not just for my looks, but for my mind, and my heart. I could kid myself that way and suffer for not having it.
Or I could make my own truth and say that this life is trying to teach me how to be alone, how to thrive despite being alone, how to love without romance and to pass on that legacy.
And we kid ourselves into our own truth so that we do not wither and die hopelessly and have no meaning.
And that’s ok.
We all fumble our way the best we can and arrive at the other end the same way we started, naked, alone, penniless. Whatever happens in between is our truth.
We all hope exactly the same thing, that someone else will see our vision and share it. For the same reason that we all have: we are social animals who need each other, connection, reproduction, food, comfort, mental stimulation, sex and fun.
And that’s it.
Maybe my truth is a bit depressing, but it is real.
All I hope is that a few share it and live it, so that I am not alone.
I am frankly sick of being alone in my thoughts, out of sync with society and missing others in their journey. I am always too early, too late, too weird, too smart, too poor, too rich, too busy or too shy, too many animals, too ugly, too pretty, too fat, too wrinkly or too sensitive. Too depressed, too confident, too much.
And my truth is seldom pursued, because our society still believes in what has not happened for me. And that’s ok. There is very little I can do about that other than alter my own truth.
I do however agree that whatever your truth is, it includes happiness, personal fulfillment, love and feeling good. Accept that, it is ok. Whatever it is we strive for is okay, and good.
It doesn’t matter that someone else think it is stupid, or antiquated, or too selfish.
Do what feels genuine and doesn’t hurt anyone else.
If that is a religion, or a sect, or an opinion. Then go for it, for as long as you are alive, you answer to your own truth.
My truth says that love is of utmost importance. I do not eat those I love.
I help, and selflessly so.
I love, and selflessly so. Whether I get love in return, I give it.
I believe I must grow and learn in order to matter. So I do, every day.
I believe that my soul will one day die….and maybe linger if it is not finished.
I believe that we are animals, and governed by the same laws that govern animals. We have instinct, and we have desire. But we also have a powerful brain that not all of us use to its full potential.
I believe that I can make a difference to this world and the collective consciousness, whatever that is. As little as I am, I will make a ripple in the waters of the universe. And it will be imperceptible in centuries to come. But maybe someone will listen and it will make their life better. And I know that I need to believe that in order to feel that I have lived.
I believe we are all valid and have our own journey, and we own it and I think maybe there is a substance we possess that repeats itself until you have learnt the lesson. If you call that God, I respect that, and maybe I believe that truth to a certain extent.
I feel cursed by feelings. My truth includes yuckiness that others may not have experienced. But a lot have.
My truth includes my children. And whether that is just biology, who gives a shit?
My truth says that you shouldn’t hurt anyone else. Is that a consequence of religious upbringing or truth? I don’t know. All I know is I like being good to others, and giving of myself over and over again, despite loss and repeated failures at relationships and love.
So my truth is a little crazy.
What about yours?
