Monday, 13 September 2010

Rain

It is raining. It always rains. It always goes back to that.
It probably won't ever stop, as the world keeps turning and seasons change.
It floods. It always floods. It cannot be stopped.
It seems that this water is what drives my life to change with the seasons.
Well, let it.
Let it rain.
Let the world spin and turn at its pace. As it does.
Pages on this book will keep on turning,
and will be filled every day.
I won't ever cease to fill them.
The rain will not mar them, will not ruin them.
This is my rhythm, the rhythm of my life and the seasons of my soul.
I look forward to the day when spring will flower in my life instead.
Floods that leave behind a trail of flowers that come alive after the drought.
Maybe one day.

De-cluttering my home

13/9/10





There is something very real about the way our minds work. We are all psychologically very similar and I find that aspect of humanity extremely interesting.
I heard once that when people draw a house in a picture it means they are drawing themselves. And in fact some people can look at these drawings and assign meaning to whether someone has drawn a chimney or a window or no windows at all. The same is to be said for dreams. Apparently, if you dream about a house, you are essentially dreaming about your inner soul. That if you run from room to room looking for something, that you are looking for something in your own mind.
I think it is amazing that we are all so similar that this traverses cultures and ages. We carry so much in our genome, much more than just looks.
So, I guess it is no surprise that I feel so good when I de-clutter my actual house. It would follow that our home is a continuation of ourselves. It houses our soul, our very being. When we invite someone to our house, this is something important, we are inviting them into ourselves in a way. We have friends over, we talk about a place feeling homely. Catch my drift?
Whenever I feel stuck in my life, or I need a reshuffle, clearing spaces in my home clears mental space. I throw away things I have not looked at for a long time, I get rid of things I no longer need. It is not surprising, therefore, that I feel so free afterwards. The mere act of throwing away things I don't need gets rid of them from my mind- it gives a physical outlet to my emotional clutter.
I guess it is no surprise that for most of my life I held on to things, hoarded them, in case I needed them later. The only things that I have still held on to like that are my photos, and a box of memories, memories that I refuse to get rid of, I know I might need those later.
So why all the re-shuffle?
Well, do you ever feel like you are stuck? I am here at the end of my training and I can now look forward to whatever career I wish. I guess it is a good place to be stuck at: the world being an oyster and all that. (I have never understood that saying, by the way. Most of the time, when you open an oyster, all you get is mud and a runny gooey grey thing!).
I want it all, I want time with my kids, good income, work satisfaction and time to write and do what I really want out of my life. Not much to ask for, huh? Some people say you just need to be happy with your lot; others would say that if you ask the universe for what you want, it will provide. (Of course, sitting on my arse would not have got me to where I am, the universe would have just delivered a kick up the proverbial!).
I like to think of a combination of both.
The world is most definitely not an oyster. When I open doors, most of the time, they deliver what I want. I want freedom to live. That is all.
I am very sure I will get it too, I am very determined.
Thus, my clean up. Ordering my files, getting everything categorised, deciding which medical articles I wish to keep or I am likely to need in the future. And, then, who knows? The world is my house.

Winged

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