Saturday, 2 January 2016

Dear Time

Dear Time,

I have only known your new year for a very short while but I feel like I know you already, as you seem very similar to other years I have had before. However, since I am a good sport, I will pretend that I don’t know you and give you the benefit of the doubt.

I only ask that you take my wishes into account for this year.

You see, I think that I need a different sort of year. I mean, don’t think I’m being ungrateful. I am very grateful for a lot of things in my life, and these are just wishes. I don’t want anything taken away, I want it at all as it is, but I just wanted to make some helpful suggestions for the future, and hope that you will take them into account when planning my trajectory for 2016.

I am not sure what sort of groundhog day loop I’m stuck in, but it seems that toughness, resilience and strength are the only things I need on a day to day basis, and I continue to be tested on them. I’m starting to think that this, Time, is a bit of a waste of resources when it comes to the events department of your, should we call it, company. You see, I think I have proven time and again how tough and resilient I am. I think it is about time that you focus on some of the other things that I am.
I am not trying to tell you how to do things, as I am aware that you will do as you please. But I think you should know that I would like my love and caring, and nurturing to be more of a part of my life. Test me on that, I think I deserve that for a change.

Maybe you’d like to test how creative I can be, or how optimistic.
I already have a sore foot to Rehabilitate, and I don’t want that to be the main thing in my life this year. It’s already taken too much precious time and energy.

I’d like you to test me on my softer side. I do have one, you know. I am just squishy in the middle, and I think I am starting to forget it, and others can’t see it either because it lies forgotten in some far away dream. I ask that you allow it to shine. Maybe my future holds a lovely man who wants to share my softer side, and not just see the tough exterior that has been so necessary for such a long time. Let me have enough money to meet all my responsibilities, but also have a lot of time and energy for fun, for carefree irresponsibility. I so long to be just a little irresponsible sometimes. Not in big things, you know I would never do that, but in little things. Please.

Keep my beautiful girls safe, you know I would give a limb for them both, and I can’t help but think; despite my scientific brain; that this is in fact a price I am paying, this is me giving a limb for them. And if that’s the case, I would gladly give a second.  So all of the above is null and void if I am required to give a second limb for one of those precious creatures.

But if not, then please think upon it. I am looking forward to this new year. I hope it will continue to be full of friends and family and good memories. I promise I will do my part and seek out things that may expose my softer side, and I will step more carefully. (Metaphorically and not metaphorically).
I thank you in advance, and hope that we are together for a long while yet.



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