Dear Time,
I have only known your new year for a very short while but I
feel like I know you already, as you seem very similar to other years I have
had before. However, since I am a good sport, I will pretend that I don’t know
you and give you the benefit of the doubt.
I only ask that you take my wishes into account for this
year.
You see, I think that I need a different sort of year. I
mean, don’t think I’m being ungrateful. I am very grateful for a lot of things
in my life, and these are just wishes. I don’t want anything taken away, I want
it at all as it is, but I just wanted to make some helpful suggestions for the future,
and hope that you will take them into account when planning my trajectory for
2016.
I am not sure what sort of groundhog day loop I’m stuck in,
but it seems that toughness, resilience and strength are the only things I need
on a day to day basis, and I continue to be tested on them. I’m starting to
think that this, Time, is a bit of a waste of resources when it comes to the
events department of your, should we call it, company. You see, I think I have
proven time and again how tough and resilient I am. I think it is about time
that you focus on some of the other things that I am.
I am not trying to tell you how to do things, as I am aware
that you will do as you please. But I think you should know that I would like
my love and caring, and nurturing to be more of a part of my life. Test me on
that, I think I deserve that for a change.
Maybe you’d like to test how creative I can be, or how
optimistic.
I already have a sore foot to Rehabilitate, and I don’t want
that to be the main thing in my life this year. It’s already taken too much
precious time and energy.
I’d like you to test me on my softer side. I do have one,
you know. I am just squishy in the middle, and I think I am starting to forget
it, and others can’t see it either because it lies forgotten in some far away
dream. I ask that you allow it to shine. Maybe my future holds a lovely man who
wants to share my softer side, and not just see the tough exterior that has
been so necessary for such a long time. Let me have enough money to meet all my
responsibilities, but also have a lot of time and energy for fun, for carefree
irresponsibility. I so long to be just a little irresponsible sometimes. Not in
big things, you know I would never do that, but in little things. Please.
Keep my beautiful girls safe, you know I would give a limb
for them both, and I can’t help but think; despite my scientific brain; that
this is in fact a price I am paying, this is me giving a limb for them. And if
that’s the case, I would gladly give a second. So all of the above is null and void if I am
required to give a second limb for one of those precious creatures.
But if not, then please think upon it. I am looking forward
to this new year. I hope it will continue to be full of friends and family and
good memories. I promise I will do my part and seek out things that may expose
my softer side, and I will step more carefully. (Metaphorically and not
metaphorically).
I thank you in advance, and hope that we are together for a
long while yet.
Sincerely,
Me
